a year in review

What has changed within your dynamic this past year? Is it a positive or negative change? How has it affected how you serve?

in the past all of my service to master was sexual. when to masturbate, how to masturbate. talking to master he said that our sexual relationship has grown and changed for the better and at first i didnt think so but now i realize how much it has. there are nights i suck master dick he cums in my mouth and that's it there is no other sexual interaction. i didnt realize how much sexual pleasure i gain just from pleasing him sexually, a year ago i wouldve laughed at even the idea of that. 

while i was away this summer it seems like our bond grew stronger and i felt more comfortable opening up to him and sharing my fears and my deeply hidden hopes. i was very honest with him about how much anger and hate i was carring around because of past relationships. we openly discussed our hopes for the family that we are building together and what are roles would be in the family. 

the hardest change for me has been masters quasi control over life. there has never been a time when i havent longed for it, desired it, or even begged for it but when i receive it, i become somewhat of a brat. it is so hard not to chime in with my own thought and challenge his guidance. 

i feel that it has been very positive the changes that have taken place in our dynamic. we now live together instead of seeing each other two or three times a week. this has changed the way i serve master because now i am responsible for cooking all of the meals, cleaning the house, washing and ironing all of master's clothing and master's relationship with my daughter has allowed us to develop a standard that will carry when we have other children. 

i look forward to the new year and the growth that it brings.