who are you

okay i was freaking out. 

i was freaking out because he asked me instead of told me. i wondered to myself what was going on i felt like we should no longer be in this place of sending me a message to ask me anything. well okay not anything it was the what this question was about that really just sent me through the roof over analyzing, wondering, guessing, if we would ever progress pass this point. 

i asked me about going to see his ex-girlfriend. i mean he's already fucked her multiple times while we were together i mean what was the point of him asking me that. it felt somewhat like we were moving backwards instead of moving forward. it also started me to thinking about things. 

for either one of not to have done this before, for us to be very new to this lifestyle i thought that we were progressing slowly in the direction that we both wanted. but with that question i felt like it wasn't, that we weren't and i was worried.

so later on that night i talked to him (smile) and as always he made me feel like i overreacting, and over thinking. he asked he said because he was looking for a way out of going to see her, but even with that i thought well i thought that he could've handled it differently and the fact that he did meant that this wasn't working for him, and we couldn't be us like this anymore. 

well that's what i thought yesterday and then today happened....