living honestly

with all of the changes that i am making in my life as a result of the retraining, i have to admit its been stressful and scary. 

amongst everything i realized that i'm changing, my thoughts, my hopes/dreams. it is scary because i feel awkward outside of my home. i'm happy about the way that i live my life but i am handicapped because i am unable to live honestly. 

i have to be honest that there were times doing this process that i felt like this was wrong, because this isn't what normal people do. this morning as i was in my meditative corner i reflected back to last night and this morning and how loving my hoh is to me. how he cares for me and protects me. 

it wasn't until that moment that i decided to live honestly, my way. i can not turn away from this journey that i have begun, i cant imagine living my life any other way. 

but it has been difficult trying to figure out who this new me.