i wanted to start a blog to somewhat address the lack of african american submissive blogs i saw on the web, but then i never actually got around to it. then i think i begin to over stress learning things and wanting to grow in my submission so daddy advised me to start a blog in an attempt to learn for BDSM/ submissive / HOH / slave master community. i group all of these together because for me each hold a piece that speaks to me as a submissive and since i feel like i am still learning, a newbie so to speak. i don't feel pressure to pick just one specific area.
there is so much going on, so much that i want to say in this first piece i think i'll post twice for my first time, but for now i'll start at the beginning.
i have know my daddy for forever, we went to high school together and he became my best friend. it wasn't until many many years later that we actually dated. the few relationships i had before him were very vanilla, there were things that i wanted to do, things that i felt, these things scared me. it wasn't until i we started dating daddy that he demanded of me the knowledge of my deepest and darkest secrets, he wanted to know all those things that i kept to myself. it was then that he became the keeper of my secrets the one who knows me better than anyone.
it wasn't easy for him it still isn't sometimes because i still feel like i'm waiting on some pending rejection to come from him because my fantasies my desires are just too dark for him.
even though i never had to beg him to get to this point i am always mindful of the fact that i brought us here, i worry if my desire will ever push him to the point of leaving.
i should laugh at this thought because even though this was originally my desire he has molded it into something i've only dreamed about.
even though i never had to beg him to get to this point i am always mindful of the fact that i brought us here, i worry if my desire will ever push him to the point of leaving.
i should laugh at this thought because even though this was originally my desire he has molded it into something i've only dreamed about.
i guess that's another reason why i'm here creating and writing this blog, because i can't express with my girlfriends the wonderful transformations that are taking place. they wouldn't understand that i miss our maintenance spankings because it provided structure for me. they wouldn't understand how i get wet at the memory of him tying the collar around me neck and leading me out into the living on his belt leash as i crawled on my hands and knees to the bowl that he sat on the floor so that i could drink his cum out of the dish. they would miss the beauty of all of this.
so this is my beginning and i hope that you will join me on my journey through submission.
1 comment:
I am all the way back at the beginning of your blogs.
It must have been momentous to meet someone you could share so much with, and who would allow you to explore. You talk of "dark" fantasies. I think all subs have dreams of such dark subjects (and I assume you are talking about kidnapping, gangbangs, bukkake etc.)
It's a different kind of love. No, your girlfriends would never understand it. As they struggle with yet another
philandering 'playa', you will be in bed with Daddy! While they are still be looking for love, you have found it. At least, within this forum, you have found people that cherish and appreciate the different kinds of loving relationship that exist.
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