nonmonogamy

i never would've thought that one day i would be in relationship that was open. well not that open for me .. if its a woman yes, a man .. daddy would kill me, and i wouldn't it want it any other way. however daddy can have sex with any woman that he chooses. at first i was jealous, i was jealous because the first woman that he would have sex with was his ex-girlfriend and there was history there.

when it was just any woman off the street i was happy, hell my pussy was down right dripping at the thought of daddy fucking another woman and then coming home to me. i got soaking wet at the thought of him fucking another woman and making me kneel by the bed and watch as he did it. the thought of him having sex with his ex-girlfriend hurt but after we talked and i felt the love in his voice even she didn't matter.

what did matter was daddy gaining pleasure, being pleasured, having his desires fulfilled. when i he came back from being with her and he slid his dick into me after he'd slid his dick out of her he wasn't pleased, instead he looked hurt. he felt that what he did might have in some way hurt me, plus i don't think it went the way he wanted it to go. his hurt, hurt me and my only thought is now how do i fix this for him, how do i make this better.

i had hoped he would come back feeling like a king. a king who has a harem of women and slave who is there to lick his dick clean afterwards. for now with no complaints our nonmonogamy might just be limited to our pending threesomes.

the beginning ...

i wanted to start a blog to somewhat address the lack of african american submissive blogs i saw on the web, but then i never actually got around to it. then i think i begin to over stress learning things and wanting to grow in my submission so daddy advised me to start a blog in an attempt to learn for BDSM/ submissive / HOH / slave master community. i group all of these together because for me each hold a piece that speaks to me as a submissive and since i feel like i am still learning, a newbie so to speak. i don't feel pressure to pick just one specific area.

there is so much going on, so much that i want to say in this first piece i think i'll post twice for my first time, but for now i'll start at the beginning.

i have know my daddy for forever, we went to high school together and he became my best friend. it wasn't until many many years later that we actually dated. the few relationships i had before him were very vanilla, there were things that i wanted to do, things that i felt, these things scared me. it wasn't until i we started dating daddy that he demanded of me the knowledge of my deepest and darkest secrets, he wanted to know all those things that i kept to myself. it was then that he became the keeper of my secrets the one who knows me better than anyone.

it wasn't easy for him it still isn't sometimes because i still feel like i'm waiting on some pending rejection to come from him because my fantasies my desires are just too dark for him.
even though i never had to beg him to get to this point i am always mindful of the fact that i brought us here, i worry if my desire will ever push him to the point of leaving.
i should laugh at this thought because even though this was originally my desire he has molded it into something i've only dreamed about.

i guess that's another reason why i'm here creating and writing this blog, because i can't express with my girlfriends the wonderful transformations that are taking place. they wouldn't understand that i miss our maintenance spankings because it provided structure for me. they wouldn't understand how i get wet at the memory of him tying the collar around me neck and leading me out into the living on his belt leash as i crawled on my hands and knees to the bowl that he sat on the floor so that i could drink his cum out of the dish. they would miss the beauty of all of this.

so this is my beginning and i hope that you will join me on my journey through submission.