growth

growth takes place in some unexpected ways.

whenever i was going through something bad or i was having a really bad moment my best friend would always tell me, that it was just growth. she said that i could either stand up live through it and learn or i could go hide in the corner, but if i decided to go hide in the corner it would still hurt. it would always hurt she said until i stood up and grew with growth.

when i first started writing the blog it was all about documenting my growth, my "process" unto my great unknown. i was eager and hungry for information so much so that i crossed a line that i thought i could handle but once crossed it hit me made me disgusted, angry, annoyed, confused, and for the first time in my life i wasnt even the slightest bit horny. (the non horniness was huge for me) 

it has taken a lot to get to this point of even wanting to write and now that i'm writing i'm realizing that i've changed, i've "grown". i still feel that submission is vital for any successful relationship that i have but the way that it is done and how things are handled my outlook on that has changed deeply. 

as a result somethings will change and some other things will stay the same. i am doing the best that i can do with what i have.