my new found faith, has sparked in me a lot of thought, i know i spoke before about my struggles with faith and masturbation. as things settle down and we each become comfortable in our roles i am finding that it wasnt masturbation that was my issue. learning how to love yourself by yourself discovering what pleases you sexually is a blessing.
it was more so my obsession with sex/pornography, not the masturbation that was an issue. my hoh loves that my sex drive is high, he loves that i read and i bring to him things that i am interested in, and he would never want me to change that, but now that i'm a housewife, a lot of my time has been spent watching, looking at pornography, and i have neglected my responsibilities that my hoh has asked of me.
i will always believe in the beauty of masturbation, and how it helps people to discover self love. i will always believe that G-d will not punish us for masturbating. but for myself until i can learn how to control things i will continue to pray for self restraint. so far it has gone a long way i have been able to focus on my tasks around the house. my hoh is not happy that i haven't masturbated in almost two weeks, i will continue to pray that he sees that i'm not trying to change me or my openness/love of sex i'm just trying to better myself for us.
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